Blessings to Katie and David on the marriage today. Here's the homily I gave at their ceremony.
I’ve been known, from time to time, to kick off a homily with a few lines from a song that speaks to the message I want to convey, so singing a little ditty for the wedding of two professional musicians seemed like a no-brainer. I struggled, though, to find a song that captured both Katie’s energetic, soulful style and David’s virtual silence. I needed a jazzy R&B song loaded with whole rests - with fermata over them – accompanied by an accordion. I didn’t find one. Then I remembered that this congregation would be filled with talented musicians - and Larry. Now, I can carry a tune, but I wouldn’t say that my voice is sought after, so I got cold feet and ditched the opening number. But I know I made the right choice because a wedding isn’t about the officiant, it’s about the bride and groom; and it isn’t about singing a solo, it’s about singing in perfect harmony. The readings that Katie and David have chosen for their wedding today explain why.
Our first reading from Genesis teaches us that from the opening act of creation, man and woman were meant to live together in perfect harmony. Christ himself blesses this union with his presence at the Wedding at Cana in our Gospel. It’s no accident that Jesus’ first miracle takes place at a wedding because he who himself is the marriage of humanity and divinity graces marriage with the superabundant gift of God’s love. And as Saint Paul tells us in our second reading, nothing can separate us from the love of God. God’s love is the key to a successful marriage because God’s love perfects marital harmony.
In the context of music, harmony is a combination of notes that has a pleasing effect. In the broader context, harmony can be understood as agreement, unity, friendship and peacefulness. I got that from Membean. I think all of us can agree with the words of Scripture that count among our most cherished blessings “a wife and husband who live in harmony.” (Sirach 25:1) So what brings harmony to a marriage? Love. As the Bard put it so eloquently, “[W]hen love speaks, the Voice of [God] makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.”[1] That was for you, Mary. Love is willing the good of another,[2] and it’s only when human love between a man and a woman is transformed by the love of God in Christ that it can become the kind of love that endures forever.[3] “What happened at Cana two thousand years ago happens in reality at every wedding feast.”[4] The loving presence of the Lord at your marriage today transforms your love for each other and gives you all you need to live together in perfect harmony. Let’s face it, that man and woman can live together in harmony is a miracle in and of itself. That miracle is only possible when you welcome God’s love into your marriage.
Think of marriage as a symphony written by husband and wife note by note over the course of their life together. Your symphony will have its allegro and andante movements, and no doubt, a lot of whole rests. You may also encounter the occasional strepitus. All music students who can define strepitus in class on Monday will receive 10 extra-credit points. To stay in tune with each other, to keep harmony in your relationship no matter what tempo, key signature or accidental you face, you have to keep your eye on the divine conductor. Think of God like . . . Mr. Angeline - offering you a steady, constant, deliberate beat. When things get a little too crazy, God will be like . . . Mr. Andrews providing a cool, casual, bluesy rhythm to soothe your minds and calm your hearts. And when life is overwhelming, like the Prism Concert, God will stand tall above the crowd like Mr. Hopta, giving you big, bold, clear direction. If you keep your eye on the divine conductor and follow him throughout your marriage, you will live in God’s love, and you will make beautiful music together.
You know, we’ve been meeting for more than two years preparing for this day; and I can honestly say that I count our time together among the strangest two years of my life. In our early meetings, Katie did all of the talking; she even answered the questions I asked David. I thought they were a ventriloquist act for a while. Katie asked hundreds of questions - some that I’ve never been asked before, and hope never to be asked again. David asked one. As we progressed into marriage preparation, I started to learn a little more about you – I heard about David’s computer obsession and Katie’s compulsion with candles and lotion. I stopped counting at 37 candles on your wedding registry. I learned that Katie worries about everything, that David does speak and that he has a wry sense of humor. When I asked Katie and David what they’d like in their wedding homily, David requested a limerick. Ask and you shall receive.
Our first reading from Genesis teaches us that from the opening act of creation, man and woman were meant to live together in perfect harmony. Christ himself blesses this union with his presence at the Wedding at Cana in our Gospel. It’s no accident that Jesus’ first miracle takes place at a wedding because he who himself is the marriage of humanity and divinity graces marriage with the superabundant gift of God’s love. And as Saint Paul tells us in our second reading, nothing can separate us from the love of God. God’s love is the key to a successful marriage because God’s love perfects marital harmony.
In the context of music, harmony is a combination of notes that has a pleasing effect. In the broader context, harmony can be understood as agreement, unity, friendship and peacefulness. I got that from Membean. I think all of us can agree with the words of Scripture that count among our most cherished blessings “a wife and husband who live in harmony.” (Sirach 25:1) So what brings harmony to a marriage? Love. As the Bard put it so eloquently, “[W]hen love speaks, the Voice of [God] makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.”[1] That was for you, Mary. Love is willing the good of another,[2] and it’s only when human love between a man and a woman is transformed by the love of God in Christ that it can become the kind of love that endures forever.[3] “What happened at Cana two thousand years ago happens in reality at every wedding feast.”[4] The loving presence of the Lord at your marriage today transforms your love for each other and gives you all you need to live together in perfect harmony. Let’s face it, that man and woman can live together in harmony is a miracle in and of itself. That miracle is only possible when you welcome God’s love into your marriage.
Think of marriage as a symphony written by husband and wife note by note over the course of their life together. Your symphony will have its allegro and andante movements, and no doubt, a lot of whole rests. You may also encounter the occasional strepitus. All music students who can define strepitus in class on Monday will receive 10 extra-credit points. To stay in tune with each other, to keep harmony in your relationship no matter what tempo, key signature or accidental you face, you have to keep your eye on the divine conductor. Think of God like . . . Mr. Angeline - offering you a steady, constant, deliberate beat. When things get a little too crazy, God will be like . . . Mr. Andrews providing a cool, casual, bluesy rhythm to soothe your minds and calm your hearts. And when life is overwhelming, like the Prism Concert, God will stand tall above the crowd like Mr. Hopta, giving you big, bold, clear direction. If you keep your eye on the divine conductor and follow him throughout your marriage, you will live in God’s love, and you will make beautiful music together.
You know, we’ve been meeting for more than two years preparing for this day; and I can honestly say that I count our time together among the strangest two years of my life. In our early meetings, Katie did all of the talking; she even answered the questions I asked David. I thought they were a ventriloquist act for a while. Katie asked hundreds of questions - some that I’ve never been asked before, and hope never to be asked again. David asked one. As we progressed into marriage preparation, I started to learn a little more about you – I heard about David’s computer obsession and Katie’s compulsion with candles and lotion. I stopped counting at 37 candles on your wedding registry. I learned that Katie worries about everything, that David does speak and that he has a wry sense of humor. When I asked Katie and David what they’d like in their wedding homily, David requested a limerick. Ask and you shall receive.
On Katie and David’s big day,
The sermon was great, so they say.
Deacon Mike preached his heart out
To make sure they’d start out
Their marriage in sweet harmon-ay.
But most of all, during these last two years I learned that you are two very different people who make beautiful music together. I learned that you love each other very much, that your love is firmly rooted in God’s love and that you have all you need to live in perfect harmony.
It’s been my honor to spend these last two years with you – as strange as they were – and to contribute a few notes to what I’m sure will be a beautiful symphony. Though I shied away from serenading you this afternoon, I hope you know that I join the choirs of angels in singing your praises before the throne of God, praying that you live a long, happy life together in perfect harmony.
Readings: Genesis 2: 18-24; Psalm 128; Romans 8: 31b-35, 37-39; John 2: 1-11
[1] William
Shakespeare, Love’s Labour’s Lost, Act IV,
scene iii, ln 342.
[2] See Catechism of the Catholic Church
1766, quoting Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa
Theologiae, I - II, 26 4.
[3] See Reginald H. Fuller, Daniel
Westberg, Preaching the Lectionary: The Word of God for the Church Today, ed.
3 (Collegeville, Liturgical Press, 2006) at 563.
[4]
Pope Francis, General Audience, February 14, 2014.
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