The Good (and Funny) Pope

          Today we commemorate the 50th anniversary of the death of Blessed Pope John XXIII - the Good Pope.  For a pope who only reigned for 5 years (1958-1963), Blessed John may well be the pope who's had the greatest individual impact on the Church to date.  By calling and launching the Second Vatican Council, John shepherded the Church into the modern world; he called for aggiornamento - updating; and cast open the windows of a 2,000 year old institution to let fresh air and the Holy Spirit in.  The long-term impact of Blessed John's Council are still being discerned. Many see in Pope Francis the completion of Blessed John's vision for the Church:  a return to simplicity, humility and charity.

          And that's exactly why Blessed John is referred to as the Good Pope.  He was a simple, farm-bred man from a poor family who understood that the Church's mission is to bring Jesus to the world.  You can learn more about Pope John XXIII in an excellent book by Greg Tobin called The Good Pope.  I recently read it, and couldn't put it down.  I plan next to read Journal of a Soul, the diary that Blessed John kept for nearly 70 years - from his days in the seminary until a few months before he died.  My friend tells me that the insights into Blessed John's joys, fears, doubts and faith are inspiring.

          Blessed John is also remembered fondly for his wonderful, self-deprecating sense of humor.  His great humility was also expressed in his ability to laugh and to laugh at himself.  So in honor of the Good Pope of happy memory, I would like to share some of my favorite of his quips with you:

          "Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways:  women, gambling and farming.  My family chose the slowest one."

          Shortly after his election, a reporter asked Pope John how many people work in the Vatican.  Pope John replied, "About half of them."

          While passing through a crowd Pope John overheard a woman exclaim, "He's so fat!"  The Pope stopped and said, "Madame, the conclave is not a beauty contest."

          The mother superior of Holy Spirit Hospital in Rome welcomed Blessed John to the hospital one day with the words, "Most Holy Father, I am the superior of the Holy Spirit."  He responded, "Well, I must say you're lucky, I'm only the Vicar of Christ!"  

          Once, on receiving an extremely slim visitor, John (then Monsignor Roncalli), staring at him said wistfully, "We will both have to say a prayer to God, beseeching him to remove half of the excess fat I have and give it to you."

          When he served as papal nuncio in Paris, then Cardinal Roncalli was extolling the beauties of the French Academy, reflecting sadly though that "the seats are large enough only for a demi-nuncio."

          The same nuncio couldn't resist a little word play with the rather under-clad lady with whom he was seated at a function.  At dessert, he offered her an apple which he insisted she take saying, "please take it Madame.  It was only after Eve ate the apple that she became aware of how little she had on !"

And my personal favorite:

          In the 1940s, when John was still a cardinal and the papal nuncio in Paris, he was at an elegant dinner party, seated across from a woman wearing a very low-cut dress that exposed a good deal of cleavage.  Someone turned to him and said, "Your Eminence, aren't your embarrassed that everyone is looking at that woman?"  And he said, "Oh no, everyone is looking at me to see if I'm looking at that woman."