Frank was concerned that
his wife Pat was having hearing problems, so he called the family doctor to
discuss what to do. The doctor gave him
a simple test to help assess how bad her hearing loss was. The doctor said, “Stand about 40 feet away
from her and speak to her in a normal conversational tone. If she doesn’t hear you, stand about 30 feet
away and try again, then 20 feet away, and so on.” That night, when Pat was in the kitchen
cooking dinner, Frank stood about 40 feet away from her and asked in a normal
tone, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” There
was no response, so he moved closer, about 30 feet away, and repeated, “Honey,
what’s for dinner?” No response. Twenty feet, 10 feet, still no response. So Frank stood right behind her and asked one
last time, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Finally,
Pat answered: “Frank, for the fifth time, I said we’re having chicken. Do you have a hearing problem?” As Bob Marley said, “Before you start
pointing fingers, make sure your
hands are clean.” And that’s the message of today’s
readings.[1]
If today’s readings
teach us anything, they confirm that the problem of finger pointing is one of
Biblical proportions. King David, in our
first reading, has no problem pointing a condemning finger at the hypothetical rich
man who helped himself to the poor man’s prized lamb. Yet, he fails to realize that Nathan’s
parable was all about his own sin of taking another man’s wife as his own. And the Pharisee in our Gospel is quick to point
out the sinfulness of the woman anointing Jesus’ feet. But he fails to see his own shortcomings as a
rude host who has neglected to offer Jesus the customary welcoming rituals of
the time. It seems that we mortals have
a tendency to point fingers at others.
Why is that?
People point fingers at
others to deflect attention from our own faults and sinfulness. “When we can’t bear to see something painful
in ourselves, we want to get rid of it.
We want to relocate the ugliness we feel about ourselves and put it into
someone else.”[2] Psychologists call this subconscious phenomenon
“projective identification.” We project
our unwanted behaviors away from ourselves by identifying unwanted behaviors in
others. Once identified in another
person, sinful acts become safely condemnable, or so we think. Because in reality, when we point fingers at
others, we don’t define them; we
define ourselves. Think about it. If I
condemn someone’s appearance, then I’m insecure about my own. If I condemn someone’s wealth, then I’m covetous
of that wealth. If I condemn someone’s success,
then I’m envious of his success. As
illogical as this behavior sounds, we do it all the time. That’s exactly what King David and the Pharisee
are doing in today’s readings.
Pointing fingers is a pointless
exercise because judging another’s sinfulness is like comparing apples to
oranges. “You commit the sins that tempt
you, and I the sins that tempt me.”[3]
While we may feel good about ourselves for
not committing other people’s sins, there’s no virtue in not committing sins
that don’t tempt you. We’re also not qualified to judge others. “We can only judge if we can fulfill two
conditions: that we know the other’s
heart totally, and that we love them unconditionally. Only
God can possibly meet these two conditions, therefore, only God can judge.”[4] And how does God judge? By offering complete forgiveness and mercy to all
who are willing to accept it.
All four readings this
evening emphasize God’s never-ending willingness to forgive. “Throughout salvation history, God’s love is
so great that he never stops forgiving people’s sins and giving them another
chance at repentance.”[5] But
before we can receive God’s forgiveness, we have to point a finger at
ourselves, acknowledge our own sinfulness and accept that we need God’s forgiveness. “Before we can be cured, we must want to be
cured.”[6]
And therein lies our challenge. I’ll be the first to admit that confession isn’t
my favorite sacrament. It’s not easy to confess
our sins; it requires self-awareness, self-accusation and a whole lot of humility. But fear not, in the words of Saint Cyril of
Jerusalem: “Your accumulated sins do not
prevail against the wealth of God’s compassion; the supreme physician is too
experienced to be defeated by your wounds. Just hand yourself over in faith and tell the doctor
your disease.”[7] So it’s up to us. “God never tires of forgiving us; we’re the
ones who tire of seeking his mercy.”[8]
This Jubilee Year of Mercy
isn’t just an occasion to let heat and air conditioning escape through fancy,
open doors. By declaring a Jubilee Year
of Mercy, Pope Francis is calling every one of us to remember that God’s mercy
endures forever, and he’s challenging us to accept the gift of God’s mercy so
that, together, we can be a Church whose doors are always open to offer mercy
to others. Mercy begins with acknowledging
that we, ourselves, need mercy. Mercy
begins with understanding that every time we point a finger at another, three fingers
are always pointing right back at us.
[1]
Bob Marley, Judge Not, Beverley’s (1962).
[2]
Jennifer Kunst, “Three Fingers Pointing Back to You: Why We See the Bad in Others Rather Than
Ourselves,” Psychology Today
(September 14, 2011), https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201109/three-fingers-pointing-back-you.
[3]
Frank Sheed, Society and Sanity: Understanding How to Live Well Together
(San Francisco, Ignatius Press, 2013).
[4]
Wayne Teasdale, The Mystic Heart:
Discovering Universal Spirituality in the World’s Religions (Novato, New
World Library, 2001) at 122-123.
[5]
The Didache Bible, 2 Samuel 12 at
note 12:13, p. 343.
[6]
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (San
Francisco, Harper Collins, 2001) at 54.
[7]
Saint Cyril of Jerusalem, Catechetical
Lectures, 2.6.
[8]
Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium
(Vatican City, Libreria Editrice Vaticana, Nov. 24, 2013) at 3.
No comments:
Post a Comment
God is listening . . . comment accordingly.