While skating
through various social media outlets, I found several posts nestled among the
eggnog recipes, glittery angel babies and videos of tiny tots with their eyes
all aglow that didn’t fit the typical holiday mold. They were sad posts: posts about missing loved ones, holiday
depression and dreading Christmas. It
seems like 2016 has been particularly hard on people for lots of reasons. It seems like a lot of people are dealing with
Christmas mourning.
From
the commercials, to the decorations, from the parties to the caroling,
everything about Christmas tells us that we’re supposed to be happy. But life can be tough, and the challenges of
life don’t go on holiday just because it’s Christmas. I’m sure we’ve all experienced Christmas
mourning at one time or another: perhaps
the first Christmas after the loss of a loved one, or during a persistent illness;
maybe when we couldn’t afford Christmas gifts because money was tight, or a
time when we spent Christmas alone. The
fact is, Christmas isn’t necessarily the “Hap-, Happiest Season of All”
for everyone.
So what
do we do about Christmas mourning? Well,
a good first step is to acknowledge that Christmas mourning is real. People really suffer – even on Christmas – and
it’s ok not to be jolly every second of the day from Santa’s arrival in the
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade until the Magi depart for their own land on
Epiphany. Whether self-imposed or foisted
upon us by the well-meaning chap at the company holiday party who can think of nothing
better to say than, “Cheer up; it’s Christmas”, the expectation to be happy
only exacerbates our woes. We need to
give ourselves and others a break and accept that it’s OK to mourn every once
in a while, even if that once in a while may fall on Christmas.
Second,
we should honor our Christmas mourning. When I was
in Deacon School, we were taught that we need to honor every emotion because every emotion is legitimate. If you’re mad, be
mad; if you’re sad, be sad; give each emotion its due. We take the time to honor our
emotions so we don’t repress them in an unhealthy way. Honoring our emotions, whatever they may be,
helps us to deal with them, put them in proper perspective and not allow them to dominate
our lives.
Third, and most importantly, we
need to remember that we’re not alone.
Christmas is the celebration of the Incarnation of the Christ – the
moment in history when God humbled himself to share in our humanity, to prove
that he is “God with us.” In Jesus, God
shares the fullness of the human experience:
mourning, weeping, suffering, pain and death included. We’re never alone in our suffering, not just because
others are suffering too, but because God himself suffered for us and with us
in Jesus Christ. What a blessing it is to
have a God who loves us so much that he joins us in our suffering. Aligning our suffering with Christ’s passion
and death turns our attention to the glory of his resurrection – our sure hope
that “all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall
be well.”
I'm not in a proverbial “bad place”
this year, but I know a few people who are.
To them I say, I understand, but God understands perfectly. Rest assured that a certain poor deacon will
be offering his Midnight Mass for your Christmas mourning and may even join you
in a good cry while the choir sings Silent
Night.
O Radiant Dawn, splendor of eternal light, sun of justice: come and shine on those who dwell in darkness
and in the shadow of death.
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment
God is listening . . . comment accordingly.